A Seven-Year Manifesto

Wow. Seven years.

Last night, [identity-protected] and I celebrated our seventh year together as a couple.

We went out for dinner and drinks at Temple Bar in Greenbelt, Makati and managed to finish a whole bottle of Asti Cinzano together. Considering I'm not much for alcohol, this was something. But then again, seven years is seven years and I thought we had reason to celebrate.

Considering how most relationships around us seem to flicker in and out like Aurora Borealis, seven years is a long time. And both [identity-protected] and I know how hard it has been to stay together. If this sounds something akin to marriage, well, I guess it does. But I suppose we've managed to reach this long because we set markers for our relationship as we were starting out.

Priority: This sounds a bit obvious but is pretty hard to follow-up. Basically, we told each other that as much as we can, we would prioritize each other in our lives. I'm sure everyone has heard of couples breaking up because one person didn't place a high priority on the other, whether due to work needs or pressure from family/friends.

I remember what someone once told me: in a relationship, you can divide your time only so much. That is, the ratio of how much you give of your life for your partner will ultimately determine how your relationship works. In my case, it's fify percent for her and fifty percent for work/ family/ friends-- any other ratio wouldn't work for me. (And I've never been much of a workaholic.)

Proximity: [Identity-protected] wanted us to see each other every day as much as possible. At first this was hard for me: prior to hooking up with her, I was a bit of a loner despite having a solid group of friends from high school. But I worked at it and now it feels strange if I don't see her for the day.

However, I know different strokes apply for different folks. Some people need their space while others want to apply themselves to other priorities like their work. But one advantage of seeing each other more than once a week is that at least you'll remember why you're in a relationship with a certain person. As everyone knows, out of sight, out of mind.

And remember, it always, always, always takes two to tango.

If ever there's one thing we've learned about being in this relationship, it's that you need both love and hard work to stay together. Anything less and your relationship will be careening out of control and heading toward the rocks. But at the same time, you have to remember that you shouldn't be working too hard for your relationship; you should also be having fun with the one you love.

Thanks to our seven years together, both of us have trunk loads of memories both good and bad that can fit the bill. I remember one time we adventurously headed up to a beach in Bolinao, Pangasinan and almost ended up in mountainous Baguio after a wrong turn. During that same trip, we decided to check out a nearby lighthouse and discovered almost too late that a Toyota Altis is not a good substitute for a 4WD vehicle.

And I think that's one gift you shouldn't overlook with your loved one: the time you shared together softened in the light of sweet sentiment. Memories you can share a laugh afterwards.

And that's not a bad deal, isn't?