Tuesday, December 19, 2006

This Is 15-Minutes: The Night Shift

I once wondered if I should be worried about putting my little vignettes online. After all, am sure nobody is naive enough to think that people don't steal from the internet, right? And after all, sean takes the time and effort to do monthly disclaimers against plagiarism just to address this problem.

But the way I figure it, ideas are a dime a dozen: it's the time and the effort to actually make the stories that count. So for those people who're thinking of stealing this idea, be my guest.

Just be sure you always lock your windows at night. You know, just in case.

So you're the newbie, eh?

Wait a minute, let me stub this cigarette out. I only got a 15-minute break for these things and every minute counts.

Now where were we? Ah, yes... so is this your first time to work on the night shift? Good for you-- welcome to the wonderful world of call centers, where day is night and night is... well, open to possibilities.

Have you heard of our company before? e-Concourse is still a small show compared to the big 'uns like Convergys or e-Telecare but we're doing fine. Moreover, the company takes care of us employees and that's no company shill, take it from me. That's because the company has "special" considerations for some of its employees that makes it worthwhile to work here.

Okay, 13th floor is our stop. On this floor we have the main hall where most of the call center agents are posted. This is the Mixed Hall-- we handle most of the inbound calls here.

That's Sir Orly at the end-- he's the Operations Manager of most of the teams. Over there are Ma'am Belen and Sir Eric, the senior team leaders. And just in case you're wondering, yes, Sir Eric is pretty tall but that's because he's a kapre, makes him easy to spot when you need help.

You're surprised? That's what makes our company special; they're willing to take on some of us who're fine with working at night. Most of the people here are normal but some are... well, lemme point them out to you.

Sir Orly is an aswang, which is why he's sometimes sharp-tongued on the employees. But he's not a bad sort. Ma'am Belen is also nice but watch out you don't get on her bad side: she's a mangkululam so she can be a real bitch, especially when her temper flies.

That short guy near the exit is Greg, head of the Dell accounts team on the 11th floor. They're actually all dwende down there and they're damn good at what they do. I, for one, was surprised their knowledge in crafting stuff was applicable to computer hardware.

Over here past the closed door is the outbound calls service-- whoops, sorry, mind the smoke. In this room are workhorses of the company. Yep, most of the agents are tikbalangs with a few kapres thrown in. Unfortunately, the pressure of this department is pretty heavy so most of them are chronic smokers. Personally I blame the kapres.

They are also a few tiyanaks around here but they're pretty much crybabies when they can't make their quotas. Management has kinda given up on hiring them.

On the other hand, the manananggals mostly make up the phone-sex department. Those Americans get pretty weak-kneed when they hear their voices, the sluts.

Heh, it's actually funny that most of us who are pretty good with voice mimicry can also do the American accents pretty well. The ironies of life, yes?

So tell me: what accounts should we put you in?

Apologies to all call center people out there! *winks*


Anonymous said...

arg! beta has foiled my comment posting yet again! fortunately, i was prepared and copied my original comment text before clicking anything, and it went a little something like this (ok, it went *exactly* like this):

hmm. this seems like an oddly appropriate way to illustrate your post:


particularly the first two images...the genesis of Evaine definitely has a Filipino folklorish feel...

then of course, there's the wee piper 'dwende'...

do they have tree-stumps in your call center?

banzai cat said...

Hmmm...ze link iz not working for me. Take it away! (Though given how beta sabotaged your commenting, maybe it's an overall internet attack from the shadows?)

As for tree-stumps... of course we have tree-stumps! We can't have Filipino mythology without nuno sa punso after all! :-D

Anonymous said...

Hah! I like the mental image of such an office, although I obviously wouldn't want to work there...

I actually wrote something along similar lines and submitted it to Philippine Genre Stories a couple of months back. I suppose that that proves that twisted minds do think alike. :)

Anonymous said...

happy holidays. :D

banzai cat said...

sean: Har! Which proves my point that ideas can be shared but it's the writing that matters. But still, send me an invite to the stake-burning when you catch a plagiarist. Will bring the popcorn.

(Hehe does that mean that we use the same dirty well to get ideas?)

ayen:Hey Merry Christmas to you and yours too!