Back in the saddle (again)

So after a semi-long radio silence again, I'm back before this blog craving for your pardon. There's something to be said about my current work schedule in that I can only accommodate one or two things in-between work, life and sleep.

In this case, the past couple of weeks has been filled with trying to finish a story of (post) apocalyptic lengths as well as George R.R. Martin's equally lengthy A Dance of Dragons. Mind, I rushed reading Martin's book as a planned review that I aim to submit somewhere else as well. Ironic isn't it, that a writer's work is an act of submission? Somewhere, the gods of language must be laughing.

That doesn't mean the rest of my life is at a standstill. Work on the much-delayed SF online anthology (though not in the same vein as Harlan Ellison's The Last Dangerous Visions, I hope) is moving apace with a website that I hope will be as good as the last one thematically. I foresee a launch soon. Please, God, make it so.

For this week, I'll still loaded with freelance work and rushing a viewing of the complete season 1 of HBO's Game of Thrones. If I skip sleep for one or two days, maybe I'll also get to write a couple of book reviews for this blog. Heaven knows it's been a long time since I wrote one.

So how has 2011 been for you people?

Bearing the Cross of Writing Again

So I'm back, like the prodigal son drifting into a hostile hometown. Or maybe I'm just paranoid and it really makes no difference whether I update this blog or not after almost three months of absence. After all, the Internet is a tough crowd anyway.

Ironically, between reading and writing, I'd rather be reading. It's not like I was born to write like others, who seem to either have the inborn gene of need to express themselves through the written word or those who escape the mud that bind their feet to this earth via a flight of letters because that's the only way they know how to live (or survive).

However, after being surrounded by people of passion for so many years, I can't help but continue to write even after such a period of sobriety. And once you start, you can't help but seek that passion even after so long a time has passed. Yes, writing can be addicting, a drug that haunts your physical self (Have you seen how writers look? Aside from the lack of sleep as you try to write, try putting food on your table by being a writer!) but is uplifting for your soul.

I'm minded by a quote posted by writer Jonathan Carroll on Facebook, from one Pablo Sandoval who said: "A man can change anything. His face, his home, his family, his girlfriend, his religion, his God. But there’s one thing he can’t change. He can’t change his passion."

There's truth in that, even if it's a passion that's learned rather than something that he or she was born with. So that's why I'm back and I hope I'll be able to entertain you again with this blog.

Blogger's Block

I admit it: I'm suffering from blogger's block and it's a pain to deal with. But after a month of this, I've gotten tired this crap.

Time to get back to work of writing. After all, writing is work and whoever said it was easy was obviously lying.

A Record Ends

Well, it had to end sometime. After five years of being published in the yearly Philippine Speculative Fiction collections edited by the venerable Dean Alfar, I missed out in being selected in this year's anthology edited by Nikki Alfar and Kate Osias.

Unfortunately, with the new job, my freelance stints in magazines and various odds and ends, my fiction writing has suffered a bit. Even my blogging has gone down, alas. But hopefully, this year will be better as I aim to refocus what stories I want to write (and maybe even try to finish the psuedo-novel). This year 2011, I will call The Year of Writing.

In the meantime, Andrew Drilon, it's all up to you now to wave the banner of Philippine Speculative Fiction high.

Quote for the Day

A day will come when hate-'em or love-'em legends will die. But until then, we'll have Harlan Ellison:

On his unfinished work

"My wife has instructions that the instant I die, she has to burn all the unfinished stories. And there may be a hundred unfinished stories in this house, maybe more than that. There's three quarters of a novel. No, these things are not to be finished by other writers, no matter how good they are. It could be Paul Di Filippo, who is just about the best writer in America, as far as I'm concerned. Or God forbid, James Patterson or Judith Krantz should get a hold of The Man Who Looked for Sweetness, which is sitting up on my desk, and try to finish it, anticipating what Ellison was thinking -- no! Goddammit. If Fred Pohl wants to finish all of C.M. Kornbluth's stories, that's his business. If somebody wants to take the unfinished Edgar Allan Poe story, which has now gone into the public domain, and write an ending that is not as good as Poe would have written, let 'em do whatever they want! But not with my shit, Jack. When I'm gone, that's it. What's down on the paper, it says 'The End,' that's it. 'Cause right now I'm busy writing the end of the longest story I've ever written, which is me."

*sigh*

DeadlinesDeadlinesDeadlines

And just like that, all my problems have come to a head-- for my head! Work hasn't completely swamped me but-- as a sign of age probably-- I've completely forgotten that I have a number of fiction writing deadlines.

First of all is Pao Chikiamco's Alternative Alamat online anthology for RocketKapre, with a deadline that had been set for August 30 but extended until September 15. I actually have an idea for the story I want to write for pao but obviously, I just need time to set my ass on a chair and start writing about it.

Up next is the annual Philippine Speculative Fiction collection, the sixth volume which will be edited by Nikki Alfar and Kate Aton-Osias for this year. This one will have a deadline by September 30. No idea yet what I'm going to write for Nikki and Kate. Maybe I'll plumb my 15-minute exercises, maybe something I started before but haven't finished yet.

Though I was thinking: my previous stories for PSF have been science-fiction/action. Maybe I should write a horror/drama or a fantasy/steampunk/ romance this time?

I also want to do a story each for a couple of friends (Kenneth Yu for Digest of Philippine Genre Stories and Karl de Mesa for Playboy Magazine) but like PSFV6, I haven't decided yet what story to write. Moreover, they all have a deadline for this month.

Fun times, eh? Like in my previous post, I really think I'm spreading myself too thin with my writing. But I cannot stop saying "yes" to the words that to be written and that need to be said.

Too Much Writing?

Hmmm... maybe I'm spreading myself too thin with my writing. Three blogs, several freelance plus my work too? Too much of a good thing, I say. As it is, if I don't have my book reviews-- I feel like I don't have anything to say in this blog.

But I can imagine shutting down my livejournal and do my political writing here-- but should I also transfer my 15-minute fics? Bears some thinking. (And the Bear replies, "What's to think about?")

In the meantime, I've just realized that all my writing deadlines have come home to roost with RocketKapre's extended September 15 deadline for Alternative Alamats and PSF6's deadline of September 30. And I also haven't finished fixing up the latest estrangheropress antho yet, Diaspora Ad Astra. Arrghh.

As I constantly like to quote, "We will sleep when we are dead!" (But hopefully this is not,"This will all end in tears.")

Update: While I decide on what to do with my so-called writing life, here's something that came crashing through the door of my consciousness at my political blog. What do you think? Should I keep this? Quit the political blog business? Or transfer it back here?

Scratching in the Sand, part 3

there is much to be said about the subject. as much as we can, we have tried to classify the three distinct personalities within the subject. in that we are relying too much on sigmund freud's much out-dated classifications, it is still an apt categorization.

the first personality based on the concept of id can only be vaguely desribed as extreme desire. it calls itself 'want' and we have only barely instances of sighting the personality in the subject. when it does appear, it is almost primal in its actions and feelings. it would be impossible to say that it is inhuman, given that the subject is sitting across in front of me is a human being. however, that is the feeling i attribute upon seeing it.

the second personality based on the concept of ego is more malleable and is almost quicksilver-like in appearance. i could almost call this personality sociopathic given its almost nil-regard for society's mores and rules. but this strange juxtaposition of a double personality-type in the subject's second personality, called 'mask', only hides the fact that there is nothing behind the ever-changing faces of this personality. the 'mask' itself is the personality, constantly shifting depending on the situation, context or people it interacts with.

the third personality based on the concept of superego is almost boring in comparison except for the fact that it is almost a human rendition of the state of depersonalization within the subject. the subject calls this near-separate personality within as 'rider' and he states that this personality is always observing his actions, thoughts and feelings. this personality is all cold logic and rationality.

this has been one of the most interesting subjects i have analyzed in the mirror and further research is needed before i conclude this project...

Scratchings in the Sand, Part 1

(While I try to crawl my way out of my current workload, here are a few posts I'll be doing on a whim so I can pace my poor-neglected blog. In this particular topic... trust me, it sounds crazy and it probably is. But it was fun to write. As for the matter of truth... well, take comfort in the ancient words of the Romans when dealing with these things: caveat emptor.)

it's not right to say there is a language of love but rather, love itself is a language.

specifically, love is a language between two people in a linguistic sense in that the couple exclusively creates, maintains and uses a system of symbols that reference concepts and assemble them according to structured patterns to derive expressions and meanings.

though the couple still use language to interact with other people, through time and a shared experience, they also use their own "separate" (i.e. separate in a sense that only they can understand each other) language to communicate with each other. similar to multi-linguistic people, a couple can speak "different" languages at the same time-- one for each other and another for the rest.

yes, a couple 'communicates' with each other but more than that, this communication happens on the level of language itself. Consider that language is the systematic creation and usage of systems of symbols wherein a specific sign is paired with a meaning. admittedly, love has the advantage over language in that it has non-spoken elements as well as spoken elements.

however, more to the point, language is defined as a code wherein sounds signify concepts. if we take sounds to mean the words and actions a couple does between the two of them-- and these signify concepts that are only comprehensible to the couple, doesn't that mean that they have a language of their own?

because concepts are also a symbol for the objective reality, language may also imply a particular type of human thought. this means that language can be present even when communication is not the result. this means that love is a reality. holy shit!

but i digress.

so what happens when a couple break up or fight? is it just merely the breakdown of communication, a misunderstanding? or is it a loss of language between one or two of the partners? is it possible that a language can be lost?

The Writing Life

(Pic from here.)

I never meant to write for a living. Or be a writer. But life works funny that way.

I transferred out from my college course of AB Creative Writing in first year because I thought there was no money to made in writing.

Ironically, a couple of years after I graduated from college, I made the decision to write for a living after a horrible year-long stint at SGV Consulting. Then, I had no idea what I was doing (feeling like a fancy gofer but with lousy pay) even though I was working the corporate life. Afterward, I figured that if I'm going to make something of my life, I better do it through what I do best. (Yes, I had a quarter life crisis then.)

In this case, I thought I could write a decent sentence so I went into media-- and then the Internet.

In the interim of trying to write for a living, I started to write stories. If I can write for money, I thought I should also write for fun. It's kinda like having a multiple personality disorder: there different levels in my head that I access to make it easy for me to write what I require-- but all coming from one source, which is my brain.

Unfortunately, it's hard to balance this. Nowadays my writing plate in terms of work is always so full. Currently I'm writing for my job (the Mega Trilogy: Megaking, Megabest and Megahelp), for CNET Asia, for POC's Metakritiko, and for Diwa-- plus whatever that comes my way. As much as possible, I never say no to a job offer.

The downside of this is that I don't have time to write for fun-- or I can't seem to find something good to write. Oh, I can still pump out a story idea or two for This is 15 Minutes. However, my political blog is dead in the water while I'm struggling to maintain this one. And I'm not even considering the stuff I have to maintain to keep my online publishing moving.

Mind, I'm not complaining. I'm just lamenting the fact that I cannot write as much as I want to-- even with the discipline I'm teaching myself. This is my decision, and this is the life I choose.

It's not even that I need to write in order to live. I can actually walk away from this (as evidenced one time when I... well, that's a long story there). But it's what I'm good at so I have to stick to this.

I write because it's what I do.

Blank Saturday

...Is so busy writing other stuff for work, he doesn't have anything interesting to say here. BRB.

Looking for Monsters (A Curious Cat Question)

So there's thing I'm working on, called Project: Little Monsters.

Right now, I haven't been writing because of work and the Demons online anthology (which I reassure is coming out soon! Honest!). However, instead of writing short stories, I've been... trying to develop a book-length work of shorter works of fiction.

In this case, I've been listing a number of Filipino monsters and (cultural) myths that I'm developing into a kind of dictionary-- except that I use narratives to define these concepts and modify/update it for today. (In other words, I write stories about them.)

And here's what I want to ask you people: what monsters or myths do you want defined today?

Here's the current alphabetical list I'm working. It doesn't matter if a particular letter is already filled, if you have something interesting to suggest, I'm all ears.

Makabagong Diksyunaryo ng Kababalaghan: Mga Kwento para sa Bagong Milenyo
(The New Dictionary of Strangeness: Stories for the New Millennium)

1. a - Aswang / Agta (giant) / Amamanhig (undead) / Antique / ANTING-ANTING
2. b - BANGUNGOT / Balete / Buso (ogre) / Black Dog (aswang) / Batbat-cuao (shapechanger bird of witch) / Busao
3. (c) -
4. d - Demonyo / DIABLO / Dwende [danag - suggested by ryan]
5. e - ENGKANTO
6. (f) -
7. g - GHOST
8. h - Higante / Headless / HAUNTED / Halimaw
9. i - Impakto (aswang) / IKUGAN
10. (j) -
11. k - KAPRE
12. l - LAMAN-LUPA
13. m - Mambabarang / MANGKUKULAM / Maranhig (undead) / Mantiw (giant) / Magcucutud (mananangal) / Mananambal (healer)
14. n - NUNO-SA-PUNSO
15. (ñ)
16 ng - MANANANGGAL / MaNGgagaway (witch) / BuNGisnis (laughing cyclops)
17. o - Oag (evil spirit - see Sigbin)???/ Omayan/ OUR LADY OF BALETE
18. p - Pugot (giant) / Pugot na Ulo / Palasekan/ Pasatsat / PINTADO
19. (q) -
20. r -ROBINSON MALL SNAKE
21. s - SIRENA / Syokoy / Santo Nino / S'ring (ogre / changeling) / Sigbin (manananggal/witch's pet/kangaroo-type myth)[santelmo - suggested by celestine]
22. t - TIKBALANG / Tiktik (invisible - lizard?)
23. u - BUSAO (ghoul)??? / UNGO
24. (v) -
25. w - WHITE LADY / Wakwak (bat woman)
26. [x] -
27. y - TYANAK
28. [z] -

If you've noticed, I've managed to include both Tagalog and English alphabet.

So can anyone help me out here?

Fudge, I Hardly Knew Ye...

(Sorry for the long silence, was a busy writing week.)

I was saddened when I heard that Fudge magazine was closing down. It's one of the few magazines I've seen around for the longest time-- that and Pulp.

And when I started writing for them a few profiles-- Art Valdez for the August/September issue and the bands The Pin Up Girls and Soul Brothers for the February/March issue-- I also got a chance to meet some interesting people.

(Admittedly, I conducted the band interview of Mondo Castro of Pinup and Jay Dilan of Soul Brothers via email. Couldn't be helped, 'twas the maddened Christmas rush over December.)

Here are the two covers where my profiles appeared:


August/September issue


February/March issue

Anyway, here's to Fudge!

Nine Years and Counting

Well, I just looked at my archives and I've realized that I've been keeping this blog for nine years already. Has it been that long?

Sometimes it's been a slog, sometimes the posts come in fast and furious that I barely have enough time to put it all in. Sometimes I have nothing to say such that I keep 'em short and sweet, sometimes I can barely squeeze everything in one post.

Funny enough, from only one blog then, I now have a hard time keeping up with all my online stuff.

As of last count: there's this blog, my 15-minute exercises (which is currently tied to my allmusicjunkies gig), my political blog that I'm slowly developing (think ambitious: a 'The Daily Show' perspective on the May 2010 elections like my first post, A geek's dread of local politics), the Estranghero Press wordpress site (plus Facebook! and that damn Twitter and Plurk accounts I haven't set up yet!), plus the upcoming Demons of the New Year website (don't forget The Farthest Shore!).

Whew! Did I miss anything? Ah, my multiply site that I currently use as a billboard pending further ideas. And that's only my personal stuff out here, not counting my work stuff.

Anyway, cheers and here's a glass to all you folks who've hung around. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you people who were patient enough to listen to my questions and my bookhawkings. *grin*

Taking Back our Stories

Been thinking about the recent post of Barbara Jane Reyes on Dean's story and magic realism. Specifically, Ms Reyes was analyzing the issue of magic realism in today's literature and to quote:

(Magic realism) defies conventional logic in modern, secular societies, to still believe, but more so, it defies conventional logic in modern, secular societies for those old beliefs and mythical deities to manifest themselves in our modern daily lives. Advanced as we think we are, we decide that such conventionally unexplainable phenomena are the province of the superstitious, backward, third world, unenlightened. We hear their testimonies of encounters with the fantastic with an air of doubt, and we judge them. In high literature, these stories become exoticized, objectified, hence, magical realism.

For those of us living in the Philippines, magic realism-- and to a certain extent, speculative fiction-- is a normal fact of life. As an example, just look at our yearly rituals during Lent: the crucifixion would rank us up in the Western world as 'superstitious' and 'third world' but we take it for granted that people would allow themselves to be nailed to the cross in exchange for or in gratitude of certain divine favors (i.e. small miracles).

And that's how we translate or write them into our fiction, that the strange and the weird is as normal as morning rush hour traffic or mall-wide sales up to 50%! Unfortunately, like two sides of the same coin, then we'll always run the risk of being read by the Western world* as being exotic or alien-- and not because of the value of our stories.

Is that the full extent of our contribution to world literature? That our stories are only good for the exoticness of our tales? Or is there a way we can take back our stories so that they'll be known for-- not for their exotic flavor-- but because they are good stories, that they are interesting stories?

What do you think?

*Obviously, some will raise the objection that we shouldn't be writing for Westerners. But I think that issue is moot: whether or not we write for them, we will no doubt be read by them especially with the Internet around.

Update 1: Some comments from dumavirus and rocketkapre on the issue are interesting reading. Check them out here and here. The comments in this post also make some good points.

Update 2: Here are some more interesting reading material that could be tangentially or directly related to what I'm talking about: international SF, World fantasy award and perspective.

A Curious Cat Question

Here's something said by editor Sean Wallace:

Never second-guess yourself or your submissions. Leave it to the editor to make a judgement call. Your job is just to write the best story possible, and then to send it off (to the proper market, mind you). By basically handicapping yourself by putting up roadblocks, like assuming a market isn't right, or that the editors hate your work, or that the competition for slots is simply too high, you're doing the worst possible thing, to your work and yourself.

More to the point, I got a lot of feedback from some writers who said they couldn't write secondary world fantasy. I had to wonder though: why? Shouldn't we-- as writers of the imagination-- be able to produce ideas that transcend what we usually write?

I mean, if we fail because we couldn't write a particular type of story-- whether it's the urban romance story or the gothic erotica story or the science-fiction comedy story or the secondary world fantasy story-- then we fail. But we might as well fail big, you know?

What do you think?

Drive-By Quotes

New wonder-boy Junot Diaz has a great essay on persevering (or giving up-- same coin, different sides) with your writing.

You see, in my view a writer is a writer not because she writes well and easily, because she has amazing talent, because everything she does is golden. In my view a writer is a writer because even when there is no hope, even when nothing you do shows any sign of promise, you keep writing anyway.

It's a fascinating view though I must admit I did feel weird that I was actually reading the online version of Oprah's magazine.

In other news, Guy Gavriel Kay cites the "literary vs. genre" wars that's going on internationally. See! We're not the only ones who keep on going about the same things over and over again?

We'll find ourselves working away from category and genre debates and toward the question worth asking about any novel: Is it any good? Currently, cute labels like "magic realism” are attached to fantasy books in order for the Mullans of this era to safely declare literary worth and admit them into the sanctum, but this, too, shall pass, just as hunting season does in France.

If not, we can always go back to that classic argument by two intellectual giants:

"Duck season!"
"Wabbit season!"
"Duck season!"
"Wabbit season!"
"Duck season!"
"Wabbit season!"



... And we all know how that ended.

And We're Back...

(Singularity photo from here)

Fortunately (or unfortunately), we didn't achieve writer's singularity like I thought I would. (Which makes me wonder what we'd all turn into if we did achieve writer's singularity-- but I digress.)

Though I managed to hit most of my deadlines, I wasn't able to finish the main one-- the book contest for NBDB. Alas, no matter how hard I tried-- and even with a one week extension-- one month wasn't enough for me to write a hundred pages of story.

But still, it was a fun try and thanks to the impetus, I now have more than half of the book done. But even without the prize of the NBDB contest giving me a push, I'll just have to finish putting together what I've imagined in my head on my own. As for publishing... who knows, I may just chuck it to a local publisher or I may just send it abroad.

In the meantime, I hope everyone's doing okay this past month. I, for one, would have rather done without some stuff but what can we do but keep on living, keep on writing and hope that there's a marshmallow lining in the dark clouds. And if not, we can try to write one for ourselves.

***

In the meantime, there's been come cool stuff been posted out there, including the Pinoy Transgressive website run by Marge de Leon and Karl "M.F." de Mesa. Right now they have some interesting and kick-ass stories to tell from writers like Carljoe Javier, Iwa Wilwayco, Jonathan Jimena Siason, and contributions as well from the co-editors.

What's transgressive fiction? Check out the blog: all the information's there. And if you feel like you want to contribute, pop them an email. They'd love to hear from you people as well.

Spread the reading love, yo!

Writers Speak! (On The Farthest Shore)

Here are two more writers to be interviewed at RocketKapre on The Farthest Shore anthology! Read on!

1. Mia Tijam:

"Were there any particular sources of inspiration for your story?

Ah, once there was this ala hospital metal chart notebook from Eight Years Ago. The front cover has mySAP.com printed on it. On Julius 5 Eight Years Ago, the chart wrote “Freak”. The chart ends the day with “I am not a crusader for the freaks. I do not expect people to know and understand. I do not expect people to stumble over their sentiments just because one person is sensitive to certain topics. Or certain anecdotes. I expect people who are educated to at least have some semblance of the one of the seven outcomes of education: Empathy. I am a freak. I know that. We are all freaks. People don’t know that.” And pasted on it is a post-it-apology masticating on Julius 5. A Dinosaur taught me that sensibility, by the way, and the notebook’s graciously aging in Iron Oxide Heaven. Moving along…"

For your reading pleasure, Mia's story is here.

(Now there's a mind-blowing way to do an interview... *wink*)

2. Rodello Santos:

I've found that comedy and horror are some of the more difficult elements to inject into a story. Do you feel the same?

Absolutely. My approach with comedy is to have the characters act seriously–no matter how absurd their actions and dialogue are. My approach to horror is to write simply and let the situation speak for itself. Of course, I’ve read some terrifying stories with really elegant descriptions. Of the two–comedy and horror–I’d say I have an easier time with the former. But that’s subjective. I know my first draft is never as funny as the final version.

For your reading pleasure, Rod's story is here.

That's two more writers down. Go to, people!

Writers Speak! (On the Farthest Shore)

Rocketkapre has come out with two more interviews of the writers involved in The Farthest Shore anthology. Excellent! That's more gristle for the mill, more fuel for the fire, more.... erh, uhm... anyway, go check them out:

1. Dominique Cimafranca:

"You’ve experienced the displacement that comes from leaving one home for another correct? Did that influence or enrich the writing in any particular way?

Yes, I’ve left home several times, whether for work or for studies. I always managed to come back, though, and that’s a good thing. But I sometimes wonder what happens if you can’t go back. So those are the emotions which made their way into that story."

For your reading pleasure, Dom's story appeared here.

2. Eliza Victoria:

"(H)ad you ever written a secondary world story before?

No. Or if I ever were able to write such a story before, the writing was done unconsciously. If anyone ever reads a story of mine and points this out to me, I’ll probably just dismiss the notion and say, “Oh, those things didn’t really happen, it’s a psychological thing, the character’s just insane”. Etcetera etc. When I write non-realistic fiction it is still very much rooted in our reality, so much so that the fantastic elements can be easily explained by psychology."

For your reading pleasure, Eliza's story appeared here.